What do I think about while I’m running alone in the woods for hours at a time? (34ish weeks to go)

Taken on the Wimba Trail around Lake James, NC during the Fonta Flora Trail Half Marathon

Have you ever heard of “flow state”? It’s a mental state where someone is completely focused on a task, feeling energized and enjoying the process.

That’s what it feels like when I’m having a successful long run. I most enjoy this state while I’m trail running as I get the added benefit of just being around plants and trees and all that good nature stuff. But I surprisingly can also get the same feels even when I’m running alongside traffic.

I can’t quite pinpoint what it is about the specific activity of running that can get me in to the “zone”. Some people feel this way when they are crocheting, or gardening, or crafting, etc. And I’ve felt the same thing when I’m engrossed in a mechanical project, such as changing spark plugs.

But the running flow state I experience while being out in the forrest for hours at a time is unmatched to anything else. 

I told one of my best friends, Katie, that I often run without music and she called me a psychopath. I know she was being a bit hyperbolic, but I get her point. Being alone with your thoughts for hours can be a little mentally challenging but I consider it a form a therapy.

My mind probably runs more miles than I do during these outings. I let myself digest all the micro-moments that have, for whatever reason, climbed to the top of my mind since my last run. Each of these thoughts are uncomfortably taken in and re-analyzed. I turn them over and over with every step until I’m exhausted thinking about them and then unsacrimonously cast them out, instead filling the space with ideas and thoughts that are more constructive, more productive, more healthy. It’s very therapeutic for me and although all that free therapy isn’t the reason that I’m out there, it’s a fantastic bonus.

Now, not every single run is like this. There are plenty of times when I drag my feet just putting my shoes on because I’m just not feeling up for a jog. Then I’m out there in the heat, or the rain, or the cold, and not feeling my best. My lungs are gassed, my knees hurt, my body just isn’t having it. I walk up hills. I walk on flats. I roll my eyes when my watch beeps, informing me I did a slow mile. I can’t muster a “mind over matter” trick, instead fixating on just feeling crappy. These experiences feel like a grind. A chore. Instead of a nice flow state, instead I can’t think of anything other than being annoyed. But I’ve learned after all my years of doing this, that I know the act of just trying to run will make me feel better once I’m done. The guilt of not running far outweighs the suffering of the “bad” run. And by the time I’m in the shower after one of these runs, I find that I feel much better and can revel in the accomplishment of doing something hard.

And then of course, on some runs, I bring my headphones along with me and simply jam out to female pop and don’t think about anything other than Lady Gaga or Chappell Roan.